Wednesday, 8 January 2014

11 days..

of being ill.

The sleep apnoea was the worst part; for two nights each time I began to sleep I stopped breathing. I'd wake up with a start, a sense of total dread and terror, my muscles ached; I wanted to run.

I put on my blessing cords.

For two days
I didn't do sleep
I took naps instead.

Slowly the sinusitis cleared and the apnoea stopped.

Now, seven days latter I'm almost better..
It has been a long time.
Drinking tea
Living on oranges.

My contention is that I chose to step into this, by opening that which had been closed.

My contention is that anyone who has done 'enough' religious practice becomes visible to the unseen entities; the echoes of the past, the Lords of the Soil.

I knew that there was no right way to avoid what would come to me.

My attitude was one of confidence and robust humour, but I knew that I was offending Bronze Age sensibilities. I didn't think that there was any way that I could not. I don't know if the person whose body was tucked up, just under the earth by one of the blocking stones, had been killed to guard the circle.

I believe that she had..

I wished to draw the poison from her death, to take away the pain and fear.
I'm assuming that that is why I've been so ill.

Now of course this could be pure fantasy, a way to make sense of being ill, a way to make myself feel more important (!) No one knows if the body at The Sanctuary had been killed or not; many people believe that the people of the Bronze Age would have buried someone who had died of natural causes and not have purposefully killed someone...

As I say, I have no idea about the truth of it.

From the first time I stood there I resolved to offer myself as a conduit for the black heaviness of that ground, to know it and to reconnect it to the earth and sky.
I feel like I've succeeded...

First visit.